"Whether you think you can or you think you cannot, you're right." - Henry Ford

Saturday, February 5, 2011

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there...”

So here I am. I'm making a blog. I'm doing it. After almost a year of stalking (probably your) blogs, I'm making my own. So here is the thang:

I'm currently a political science/health management major at a huge jazz school in little old NH. I LOVE to run. LOVE LOVE LOVE. (sorry). Moving on. Running has seen me through some pretty tough times and also some pretty great times. I guess you could say I'm a tiny, little bit ...obsessed. Last winter break I really became dedicated...running 40 - 50 miles a week. Here's where everything went wrong: I thought "if I can cut down my calories and continue to run...I'll lose weight...I'll be even happier than I am now!!". Flash forward a year later, and here I am. Sitting in my bed after an insane weekend of moving myself out of my suite and to Connecticut to live with my sister for the rest of the semester. I guess you could say my cutting calories created a downward spiral that I never could have predicted.

I took this semester off to get myself back to normal. To stop worrying over every little thing I put in my mouth. I want to be able to eat a meal and be done with it. Not obsess over it for the next 5 hours. I want to be able to wake up in the morning feeling happy. Not feeling ashamed of being hungry. I want to be normal. And here's the great thing: I was so so almost there by the end of this winter break. Then I got back to school...and everything went out the window. I'm sick of living like this. I REFUSE to continue to live like this. I'm getting my old self back, even if I have to reach deep down and kick her little ass. I have to do it. I've taken a semester off to do it and I can't waste this time. I moved away from my friends and my boyfriend to do this. There's no going back, only forward.

So this blog will be documenting that, my runs/gym workouts, and all other randomness that is me. Promise next post will be a lot more fun/less heavy!

3 comments:

  1. hi sweetie! i suffered from anorexia for the best part of ten years so i understand that downward spiral only too well. here if need me sweetie - u can do this xx

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  2. Thanks so much, that means a lot!! (:

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  3. i subscribed to your blog :-) you're such a sweetheart - i hope you feel better soon x x

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